Ugh. My head. My stomach.
Last night at a party I got drunk and kissed a gay guy (with his permission, don't worry). I got caught up in his glamour and wanted to cross it off the bucket list. Unfortunately, Rob wasn't too happy to hear that my mouth had made contact with another guy's, gay or not, and I understand his jealousy. I mean, I'd be upset if he kissed a lesbian. But between you and me, I must still admit to loving how alcohol lowers my inhibitions. Despite years of religious conditioning, I'm not exactly the straight-and-narrow type by nature, and it's nice to indulge my wild side once in a while. I guess I just have to be careful now that I'm in a relationship. I think it also bothered Rob that I accepted a ride home from a married coworker yesterday and smoked a bowl with him in the car. While I don't believe this guy would ever cross any physical boundaries, at work he's rather open about crushing on me, and Rob knows the types of paths my mind wanders down when I'm high. For Christ's sake, I all but suggested a three-way with his best guy friend one night when we were all smoking in the hot tub. Sometimes I worry that I'm not really ready to be anything more than someone's fuck buddy. Rob is the heavy commitment type. I want to have fun and collect as many crazy experiences as possible before I die. But I really do love him. What if I fuck things up between us? How is this going to work? What am I willing to sacrifice? What is a long-term relationship worth to me? What are these potential experiences worth?
Well, for now I'm going to look for some juice and headache medicine.
Last night at a party I got drunk and kissed a gay guy (with his permission, don't worry). I got caught up in his glamour and wanted to cross it off the bucket list. Unfortunately, Rob wasn't too happy to hear that my mouth had made contact with another guy's, gay or not, and I understand his jealousy. I mean, I'd be upset if he kissed a lesbian. But between you and me, I must still admit to loving how alcohol lowers my inhibitions. Despite years of religious conditioning, I'm not exactly the straight-and-narrow type by nature, and it's nice to indulge my wild side once in a while. I guess I just have to be careful now that I'm in a relationship. I think it also bothered Rob that I accepted a ride home from a married coworker yesterday and smoked a bowl with him in the car. While I don't believe this guy would ever cross any physical boundaries, at work he's rather open about crushing on me, and Rob knows the types of paths my mind wanders down when I'm high. For Christ's sake, I all but suggested a three-way with his best guy friend one night when we were all smoking in the hot tub. Sometimes I worry that I'm not really ready to be anything more than someone's fuck buddy. Rob is the heavy commitment type. I want to have fun and collect as many crazy experiences as possible before I die. But I really do love him. What if I fuck things up between us? How is this going to work? What am I willing to sacrifice? What is a long-term relationship worth to me? What are these potential experiences worth?
Well, for now I'm going to look for some juice and headache medicine.
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